Search for Sanity

I've started stalking my postman. No, really. I mean, does it have to take an entire hour to stuff the mailboxes in my neighborhood? That's just counting the time I arrived home from work. Who knows how long he was out there before I saw him.

I'm not normally a stalker. I promise. You see, at the beginning of March, I sent in my application to the MFA program at Vermont College of Fine Arts. The admissions counselor advised me that I would hear back from them in 4-6 weeks. It's now Week 5; hence, the close relationship with my mailbox. (Actually, it started after Week 1, but who's really counting?)

My impatient waiting has made me question my ability to stay sane when I finally begin the querying process later this year. I know that it could take months (or years!) of querying before I receive a favorable response.

How do you all stay sane throughout the process? I'd really like to stop stalking my postman. (I'm sure he'd like it too!)

Change of Priorities

Isn't it amazing how three short weeks can change someone's perspective? Last month, I was all about getting published: who to talk to about my novel, where to send my manuscript, and how to make it happen.

This month, I've accepted reality: my manuscript is far from being ready for publication. Truthfully, there were some days when I wanted to chuck my manuscript into the garbage and abandon my dream of writing. It's taken some time, but I've realized that I need to change my priorities.

Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life sums this idea up quite well: "I just try to warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all that it is cracked up to be. But writing is. Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. That thing you had to force yourself to do--the actual act of writing--turns out to be the best part ... The act of writing turns out to be its own reward."

It's time for me to take a step backwards and start working on becoming a better writing. To do this, I am going to apply to the low residency MFA program at Vermont College, an idea that terrifies me completely. Not only do I have to battle my self-doubt about whether or not I'll even get accepted, but the two-year commitment of 25 hours a week is overwhelming. But as my good friend Andria reminded me, I was able to write 50,000 words in one month during NaNoWriMo. If I found the time to do that, I certainly can devote the necessary time in the MFA program, especially because I really do want to become a better writer.

In the meantime, I'm going to do the one activity that truly makes someone a better writer: WRITE!